So guess what? Everyone was happier before I came along. Yes, the story of my fabulous marriage is that I make everyone else miserable. I've been told this over and over and over again. And yet again today, Husband had this exact conversation with The Witch. Everyone was happier before I came along, so now we have to go to counselling. It's all because of me.
Why are ex-wives sooooo mean? I really don't understand it. I truly don't. SHE left Husband for another man. She walked out on her marriage AND her two children!! She only has custody because she manipulated Husband (who really is blind to her and after 20 years you'd think he'd know her better). Did she bother to ask her kids if it was okay with them if she slept with another man and spent a year "finding herself"? Does she really think they were happy with that situation? That they were blissfully happy watching their home and parents fall apart? She's just sooo darn perfect that they love everything she's ever said and done? GIVE ME A BREAK!!
It sucks to be judged, critized, insulted, and emotionally beaten up. You know The Witch hasn't ever talked to me? I've never spent even 30 seconds in the same vacinity with her. And yet she knows all about me, who I am, and what I'm about because of what the steps have told her? Do you know how excited that makes me to ever want to be around the steps knowing that they bring all this gossip back to another woman who uses it against me?
I can't think of a time when I've had anyone, other than X, hate me. I get why X hated me, I left him (NOT for another man, I just left), but this woman doesn't even know me. She knows nothing really concrete about me, other then I married her ex-husband. Yet, she's determined to cause havoc in my life. I'm a human being. I'm a mom. I have three children, who are affected by all of this and will be devastated by another divorce. I have feelings, needs, and wants too. I don't understand what would cause another person to hate and want to destroy a person they don't even know. Or a person who wouldn't even think about how what she does affects other children. How could anyone be so eternally cruel?
I'm so angry right now. I really want to yell at the top of my lungs but the kids would be totally freaked out. They don't deserve to have a mom who is going to pieces.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ex wives sure do have a way of making you feel horrible about yourself. Like you did something wrong for getting with their husband, even if they didn't want him anymore. Keep it together, my friend. You're just going through a rough patch, but things will get better.
ReplyDeleteUgh...some people you know!! It doesn't even matter who you REALLY are its who they have misconstrued you to be. No matter what parts of the situation this outside person has they have all the right in the world to judge.
ReplyDeleteThe bf's mom is basically like The Witch. I am always at fault for everything wrong in HER babies life, meaning her grand-daughter, I am the reason she sees a psychiatrist, I am the reason she is in a behavioral school, I am the reason for her weight gain, etc. Its all my fault and no one else needs to take any blame and no one else needs to worry because I am the one who did it.
I am also at fault for my bf's issues and job trials. UGH what is wrong with some people!
For your own sanity, you have to stop caring what the ex-wife thinks. Ignore it. Focus on the only thing you CAN control - you, your feelings, your reactions. It's the best way I've found to survive it.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering -- who tells you this over and over again? Is it your husband or your stepkids or is it word of mouth that his ex tells you this?
ReplyDeleteErin,
ReplyDeleteOther than The Witch saying so to Husband who tells me, I think I have been telling myself.
Sharon,
ReplyDeleteYou are VERY right. I do need to stop caring what she thinks. She doesn't know me at all.
IF it is your hubby saying such to you - he needs to get a grip on life.
ReplyDeleteIF it is the ex-wife saying so- who cares what she thinks? She's a cheating hussy who walked out on her husband and kids. Not exactly the model of virtue that would matter to me what her opinion is. Don't you know that its always the worthless, insecure ones that feel the need to run other people down. They can't climb up to a decent person's level so they try to drag other people down to theirs.
Tell them all to go suck eggs
Thank you Amy. You are right. The Witch runs a lot of people into the ground, her own mother and sisters even. I need to remember that this is her problem and not mine. It just feel really crummy.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to not allow what the e says and thinks about you impact your feelings. My hubby's ex writes smack on my hubby and I all over the internet, even to the point that she expressed her wishes to murder him...right there beside her real name and picture. I stopped reading her garbage, and chose to realize how irrelevant she is. It's taken me 8 years, but it works. Focus on what you can control. I know it's hard...the first few lines of The Serenity Prayer always help me. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand... I heard that from the EX, my SD's, my in laws.. but you know... huby finally got it... who cares what they think?? After it's all said & done... you'll have each other... and the kids will be living their own lives.. Just ignore the ex... she means nothing :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you could use a good dose of some Rodney Atkins ("If you're going through hell")...you must download, it has gotten me through a lot of BM's cruelty : ) Instead of the kids seeing you fall to pieces, crank this up and dance around the living room! (I excerpted my favorite parts for ya).
ReplyDeleteWell, you know those times when you feel like there's a sign there on your back,
says 'I don't mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has',
Things go from bad to worse, you think they can't get worse than that,
and then they do...
...If you're going through hell, keep on going,
don't slow down, if you're scared, don't show it,
you might get out 'fore the devil even knows you're there...
...Well, I've been deep down in that darkness, I've been down to my last match,
felt a hundred different demons breathing fire down my back,
and I knew that if I stumbled I'd fall right into the trap that they were laying, yeah,
but the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street,
holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet,
the one's that you've been draggin' for so long you're on your knees,
you might as well be praying...
...If you're going through hell, keep on movin',
face that fire, walk right through it,
you might get out 'fore the devil even knows you're there...
DH and I used to play this on the CD in the car on the ride to drop off/pick up with the kids. Kept us focused on just making the transition and getting the HE double L outta there!
Hang in there!
I know that song Dragon. Good idea. It does seem to apply to this crazy situation and to my blog in general!
ReplyDelete