Continued from Parts 1 and 2...
Trouble has gotten really creative since the November Sunday drama, in order to get his way, and has figured out how to get Husband and The Witch to comply with whatever he wants.
One evening we were playing cards at the table and Trouble continued to turn his music up louder and louder while he sat in the other room on the computer. After quite a few attempts to get him to join us, he finally came to the table, but still refused to play. He brought his ipod and his phone with him and sat there texting. Again, the music gradually got louder and Husband asked him to turn it down and to put his phone away for a little while to at least join in the conversation with the family. He refused, and I said something to Trouble about listening to his father. Trouble yelled at me and told me that I can't tell him what to do. From what we have gathered since that time he was texting The Witch making fun of us and complaining that we were being mean to him and not allowing him to listen to his music. When Husband left to pick up "Perfect" from her band competition, Trouble went with him and asked to go back home to The Witch. Husband took Trouble home. The Witch told Husband the next day, after getting the scoop on what happened, that Trouble doesn't like to play cards, so it's unfair of us to ask him to do something he doesn't want to do.
Husband was waiting for Trouble to get something from The Witch's house one evening and was listening to Trouble's ipod. A song came on using derrogatory words about the female genitalia, which caused Husband to start checking out the rest of Trouble's song library. Husband found a large list of songs with foul language and strong sexual content. Husband took the ipod for the rest of the weekend and returned it to The Witch and asked her to check out the songs for herself, with the intent that she would delete those that are innappropriate. The Witch never looked at the ipod and a few weeks later "Perfect" took the ipod and cleaned up the song library. So, in this case "Perfect" should probably be written as Perfect, as she truly has a good heart.
In December The Witch found that Trouble had been getting naked pictures of a girl at school, from the girl herself. (They are in 8th grade) This was the same week Trouble threw and eraser at his teacher. Trouble was grounded from his phone and the computer. That weekend he came to our house and we had a serious talk with him about his recent behavior. Trouble had been complaining to The Witch about being old enough to make his own choices and therefore doesn't have to follow the rules we have at our house. The Witch agreed that Trouble was old enough for these responsibilities, since it meant rules at our house and not hers. However, when we talked with Trouble it was to let him know that while we want to respect his right to make choices for himself, when he starts making really stupid choices, he loses that respect. So, for the weekend he would need to do the things we asked of him to earn some trust back. He was in agreement or probably compliance. After a day Husband decided Trouble had earned trust, and allowed Trouble to go to a social event with friends. Trouble called to say he was gettng a ride home from a friend. The friend was the "naked" girl and her sister. I was pissed but Husband said nothing because he didn't want Trouble to call his mom to come and pick him up.
We have a rule that there is no TV, cell phones, game systems, toys... at the dinner table. We eat as a family and this is our time to put away the distractions. Trouble 99% of the time, does not obey this rule and Husband rarely says anything because he's afraid Trouble will call The Witch to come and pick him up.
When Trouble wants to go to the mall, or the movies, or out with friends even if it conflicts with our plans, Husband will take Trouble, so that Trouble won't call The Witch to come and pick him up.
Yes, this has become a pattern over two short months and we have lost all control over our home and any and every situation that doesn't comply with what Trouble wants. The Witch can't come and pick Trouble up anymore, so now when Trouble calls The Witch, it ends with Husband and The Witch getting into a fight. Trouble is now the innocent victim to The Witch and she can't come and save him from big bad Husband and wicked Stepmom. I can only imagine the conversations that take place between The Witch and Trouble when he gets home on Sunday evenings.
Continued...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Smackdown with Trouble - Part 2
So, fast forward to 4 years later, and now these kids are teenagers. Well, not Baby Boy, but everyone else is.
Since that fateful day, the day I should have put all my boxes back into the moving truck and found an apartment, the day I realized I stepped in hell, the drama with Trouble has continued. Thankfully it is not drama between Soccer Boy and Trouble, who acted like nothing ever happened that day, but between Trouble and me. And to be fair, it also began the drama between Husband and me as well.
Trouble learned that day, that if he can tell the story good enough, that Husband will believe him, and Husband and I will end up in a fight, leaving Trouble scott free from consequences for his actions.
It was also the start of Trouble calling The Witch, complaining about me to The Witch and the The Witch coming to his rescue. Sometimes literally picking him up and taking him home to "protect" him from me.
Trouble has run away from our home a few times and called his mom from his "hiding place" to pick him up. He has punched a kid at school in the face. He threw an eraser at his teacher during class. He got into an argument with school staff over his lunch tray in the cafeteria. He threw pool furniture into the community swimming pool. He pushed Soccer Boy down on the patio and Soccer Boy got stitches. I know there is more but I can't think of anything else. He's been suspended twice this year from school and had to do community service, through school, twice, but I only wrote two of the four reasons above. But I'm sure you get the picture.
In November my mother-in-law came to visit and Trouble told her privately all about how mean I am to him. How I never allow him to use his phone, ipod, the TV, computer or to play any video games. That I yell at him all the time and he hates coming to visit. My mother-in-law (MIL) was very sad for Trouble. Trouble indicated that he wanted to spend more time with Husband alone and that I am in the way.
The next day after their talk, Trouble and my MIL were talking in the livingroom. I was upstairs with Husband getting ready for church and the other kids ("Perfect" and Soccer Boy) were in the game room. My MIL went upstairs to get ready as well, and Trouble used the opportunity to run away from home, again, and hide where we couldn't find him. Trouble was calling The Witch who was calling us. We ended in all of us going to church without Trouble and The Witch picking him up. (Keep in mind Trouble is now 14 and we have a spare key in the backyard so he was not locked out nor too young to be home alone.)
Later that night MIL confessed all the things that Trouble had told her and she apologized for believing him and thinking bad things about me. It became obvious to MIL that Trouble was a good story teller and that the things he said were untrue and/or exaggerated.
Husband called The Witch and told her that she was not allowed to pick up Trouble from our home anymore during his visitation. The Witch was mad and called her lawyer who told her that Husband was right. Trouble was angry that he couldn't call The Witch whenever he felt like it and have her rescue him.
The pot was about the boil over and I knew something bad was going to come of it but I had no idea it would be this bad.
Continues...
Smackdown with Trouble - Part 1
Husband and I have been together for 5 1/2 years, married for 4 1/2 of those years. When Husband and I were dating I got along with "Perfect" and Trouble just fine. They were 11 and 9 respectively, and "Perfect" seemed to be especially fond of me.
When Husband and I decided to get married we talked to "Perfect"and Trouble about what it would be like since we were concerned with them having a hard time sharing "their" house, toys and bedrooms especially. Even though the two kids were only with Husband for weekend visitations, the house is the same house they all lived in before The Witch decided to leave Husband for another man. It seemed like we should be concerned about how they would feel and make sure they understood what changes were in store.
Both "Perfect" and Trouble seemed okay with it, actually they seemed slightly disinterested, and while Husband and I did our best to have a conversation with them, they were mostly interested in getting outside to play with friends.
Prior to this conversation Husband and I spent many weekends together with all five of our kids and the kids got along for the most part. The Baby was only 2 at the time, so the other kids weren't terribly interested in him. But Soccer Boy, Drama Boy and Trouble all seemed to get along okay. "Perfect" is the only girl and the oldest so she mostly did her own thing.
Husband and I were completely shocked when things went south the very first day!
My mom was here helping me move into the house, and she stayed home with the kids while Husband and I went to work Monday morning. When I got home things seemed normal, we had dinner and Soccer Boy, Drama Boy, my nephew who was also here visiting, and Trouble went into the backyard to play. Husband was also outside in the driveway washinghis true love the car. My mom and I were talking in the livingroom and I don't remember where "Perfect" was. I'm thinking she wasn't here.
Without any warning, Drama Boy came into the house yelling that Trouble was going to kill Soccer Boy.
I ran outside to see Trouble cornering Soccer Boy and yelled at them to stop and to get into the house right now. My mom kept Drama Boy and nephew in the livingroom. Trouble went to his room and Soccer boy went to my room. Husband came inside at some point, maybe when I yelled but I don't remember. I do know he went to talk to Trouble.
After all the adults talked to the kids in seperate rooms to find out what happened, we talked together. Soccer Boy and Drama Boy (and my nephew) all told the same story. Trouble told a different story. My mom also added some background information about things that had happened earlier in the day.
To make a long story a little shorter, Trouble made himself out to be a victim, Husband believed Trouble. Soccer Boy was grounded for the night for his part in the fight. My mom was made out to be a liar by Trouble and Husband. Trouble didn't take responsibility for any part he played in the day's events. My nephew was so scared that he slept with my mom that night and Drama Boy spent the evening crying.
When Husband and I decided to get married we talked to "Perfect"and Trouble about what it would be like since we were concerned with them having a hard time sharing "their" house, toys and bedrooms especially. Even though the two kids were only with Husband for weekend visitations, the house is the same house they all lived in before The Witch decided to leave Husband for another man. It seemed like we should be concerned about how they would feel and make sure they understood what changes were in store.
Both "Perfect" and Trouble seemed okay with it, actually they seemed slightly disinterested, and while Husband and I did our best to have a conversation with them, they were mostly interested in getting outside to play with friends.
Prior to this conversation Husband and I spent many weekends together with all five of our kids and the kids got along for the most part. The Baby was only 2 at the time, so the other kids weren't terribly interested in him. But Soccer Boy, Drama Boy and Trouble all seemed to get along okay. "Perfect" is the only girl and the oldest so she mostly did her own thing.
Husband and I were completely shocked when things went south the very first day!
My mom was here helping me move into the house, and she stayed home with the kids while Husband and I went to work Monday morning. When I got home things seemed normal, we had dinner and Soccer Boy, Drama Boy, my nephew who was also here visiting, and Trouble went into the backyard to play. Husband was also outside in the driveway washing
Without any warning, Drama Boy came into the house yelling that Trouble was going to kill Soccer Boy.
I ran outside to see Trouble cornering Soccer Boy and yelled at them to stop and to get into the house right now. My mom kept Drama Boy and nephew in the livingroom. Trouble went to his room and Soccer boy went to my room. Husband came inside at some point, maybe when I yelled but I don't remember. I do know he went to talk to Trouble.
After all the adults talked to the kids in seperate rooms to find out what happened, we talked together. Soccer Boy and Drama Boy (and my nephew) all told the same story. Trouble told a different story. My mom also added some background information about things that had happened earlier in the day.
To make a long story a little shorter, Trouble made himself out to be a victim, Husband believed Trouble. Soccer Boy was grounded for the night for his part in the fight. My mom was made out to be a liar by Trouble and Husband. Trouble didn't take responsibility for any part he played in the day's events. My nephew was so scared that he slept with my mom that night and Drama Boy spent the evening crying.
Update - Husband and the Whine
Yesterday after husband came home from work, I did just as I said I would. I smiled and greeted him and acted like nothing happened. I thought I would be mad about it, but really it felt okay, so while I did find his whining irritating I guess I wasn't all that mad about it.
We had dinner and sat down on the couch. I was talking to Husband about some of the blog posts and comments I read during the day that really seemed to apply to us and just before I got up he told me that he was really sorry about how he acted last night.
I have to admit that this is very out of character for Husband. He has a hard time admitting when he has done something wrong, so for him to apologize out of the blue, was a total break through for him.
And last night we made love, just because I do love him, and it seemed like a good way to say "Thank you for saying I'm sorry." Afterward, he whispered to me that when I'm not in the mood he needs to try to remember that when I am it is sooo good and to have more patience.
I think it was worth sleeping on the couch one night.
We had dinner and sat down on the couch. I was talking to Husband about some of the blog posts and comments I read during the day that really seemed to apply to us and just before I got up he told me that he was really sorry about how he acted last night.
I have to admit that this is very out of character for Husband. He has a hard time admitting when he has done something wrong, so for him to apologize out of the blue, was a total break through for him.
And last night we made love, just because I do love him, and it seemed like a good way to say "Thank you for saying I'm sorry." Afterward, he whispered to me that when I'm not in the mood he needs to try to remember that when I am it is sooo good and to have more patience.
I think it was worth sleeping on the couch one night.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Reason for the Blog
I've had another blog for a little over a year now, but I've never felt free to write the truth about how I feel about being a stepmom and a wife of a man who already has children. It's not just the stepkids or their mom and her family or even my husband that I worry about. It's also that I feel like my own family and friends would be shocked to know how I truly feel. I have hidden behind a shield of "look how great life is" and I never felt comfortable coming out behind that shield. At the same time, I have really needed to open up about what is going on in this house, and that quite frankly, I don't like it very much. I want to say whatever I feel like saying, whenever I feel like typing it out without having to worry that someone will personally be upset with me for what I say.
For example, I had written in a post about Husband and his whining about sex on my other blog, well really, it was only a sentence about it not an entire post, and he totally and completely freaked out. He was sooo worried that "Perfect" might read it and he was horrified to have his daughter think he's a man with sexual needs. I think Husband yelled at me for two days about that post, so I finally deleted it.
Now I feel a freedom to express myself like I have never felt before. I've always liked writing out my feelings. It helps to get them down and to go back and read them again. I like that I have no worries about who reads this.
I've also found several stepmom blogs that have given me more comfort then I have felt in a long long time. None of my friends are dealing with the stepfamily issues. They are all in first marriages with biological children. How very lucky for them! But it sure makes me feel alone and I feel terribly guilty talking to them about my life. They have no clue what it's like. All they can do is say "That sounds like it would be hard and I'm sorry you are going through that?" Which I do appreciate but I'd like to know that I'm not the crazy evil woman that I'm made out to be a lot of the time.
So, here's to my new freedom of speech. I can finally tell it like it is. If I can't stand one of the steps I can say that I can't. And then next day I can take it all back without any added drama from Husband, The Witch or her family over my having a bad day!
For example, I had written in a post about Husband and his whining about sex on my other blog, well really, it was only a sentence about it not an entire post, and he totally and completely freaked out. He was sooo worried that "Perfect" might read it and he was horrified to have his daughter think he's a man with sexual needs. I think Husband yelled at me for two days about that post, so I finally deleted it.
Now I feel a freedom to express myself like I have never felt before. I've always liked writing out my feelings. It helps to get them down and to go back and read them again. I like that I have no worries about who reads this.
I've also found several stepmom blogs that have given me more comfort then I have felt in a long long time. None of my friends are dealing with the stepfamily issues. They are all in first marriages with biological children. How very lucky for them! But it sure makes me feel alone and I feel terribly guilty talking to them about my life. They have no clue what it's like. All they can do is say "That sounds like it would be hard and I'm sorry you are going through that?" Which I do appreciate but I'd like to know that I'm not the crazy evil woman that I'm made out to be a lot of the time.
So, here's to my new freedom of speech. I can finally tell it like it is. If I can't stand one of the steps I can say that I can't. And then next day I can take it all back without any added drama from Husband, The Witch or her family over my having a bad day!
Husband and the Whine
I have PMS at the moment, which means moody city! I'm taking some natural vitamins which do lessen the ups and downs. Prior to the vitamins, I had a constant knot in my stomach and that knot made me feel angry. I couldn't figure out what the anger was about. It seemed like anything could set me off. Now that I have these vitamins, the knot is gone and I no longer feel anger. The irritation has not gone away however, and it's at these moments when I really want to be left alone. I'm not interested in hugs, kisses, cuddles and certainly not sex!
The last time we made love was Thursday night. Since that time, the PMS of leave me alone, has set in. I've warned Husband about this but as each day has passed he is more whiney and clingy which only makes my irritation worse.
In the middle of the night Sunday, I woke up at 1:30am and tossed and turned for hours. I finally got up at 5:00am and went to downstairs. About 10 minutes later Husband came down to snuggle up to me. I seriously hated it. I wanted to be left alone, but I know I need to tread lightly in order not to hurt his feelings, so I said nothing. We went back to bed at 5:30am and I actually fell asleep.
Sometime in the 6:00 hour my arm fell asleep and I moved in order to let the blood flow again which woke Husband. Husband thought I was trying to come onto him, which I certainly was NOT. He must have asked me 3 or 4 times if I wanted him, until I finally pushed him away from me and told him that I just barely got back to sleep and no I was not interested.
Husband spent the rest of the day Sunday, hugging me, touching me, holding me, complaining at me that I don't want him around and so on and so forth. I have PMS!! Just leave me alone for a few days already!
Sunday night Husband never left my side and continued to ask me if I was ready for bed. Just after 10:00pm we went to bed and husband was literally attacking me. Hands up my shirt, hands down the back of my pants.... I kept removing his hands but he kept on trying.
I reminded him again that I was not interested. I have PMS and he needs to leave me alone for a few days. And this is where the whine set in.
Husband "It's been 3 days!"
Husband "I need to stop liking you so much."
Husband "Will you ever want to be with me again?"
Husband "Maybe if I stop liking you I won't want you anymore. Then you would be happy."
Husband "I'm tired of all this rejection."
Me "Seriously?! I have PMS. It will be a few more days. Stop acting like a baby."
Husband "Its always my fault. Stop talking to me and go to sleep."
Silence for several minutes.
Husband "You never want me. You always reject me. I'm tired of it. Why don't you go sleep in another room?"
Me "Okay, I will" Got up and picked up pillow.
Husband "Why don't we make this permanent?"
I went downstairs to sleep on the couch.
Husband is starting to get on my nerves. I'm doing my best to keep myself in check, as I get so tired of us arguing about things. But last night he was doing his best to push me over the top with all of the insecure, selfish whining. Really, it's a total turn off to me. I thought I was marrying a man. If one of us is going to act all emotional its supposed to be me right?!
At this point I feel a little used. If I don't have sex when Husband wants it then he wants a divorce? Really? What kind of statement is that? I realize he is being a total whiney baby and I know he doesn't mean what he said. It was all emotional non-sense. However, what kind of man says something so selfish? It's been 3 days!!! That is not an eternity.
When he comes home from work today, I will be required to act like nothing happened and give him smiles and hugs. I seriously resent that I have to do these things. But it beats the alternative of verbal bashings for the remainder of the evening about how terrible I am to him and about all of this rejection he is getting, that I don't love him and don't want him around.
Rejection has become a 4 letter word to me. Get over it Husband! Stop the whining and find something else to do to pass the time for a few days. All the whine is making me drunk enough to puke.
The last time we made love was Thursday night. Since that time, the PMS of leave me alone, has set in. I've warned Husband about this but as each day has passed he is more whiney and clingy which only makes my irritation worse.
In the middle of the night Sunday, I woke up at 1:30am and tossed and turned for hours. I finally got up at 5:00am and went to downstairs. About 10 minutes later Husband came down to snuggle up to me. I seriously hated it. I wanted to be left alone, but I know I need to tread lightly in order not to hurt his feelings, so I said nothing. We went back to bed at 5:30am and I actually fell asleep.
Sometime in the 6:00 hour my arm fell asleep and I moved in order to let the blood flow again which woke Husband. Husband thought I was trying to come onto him, which I certainly was NOT. He must have asked me 3 or 4 times if I wanted him, until I finally pushed him away from me and told him that I just barely got back to sleep and no I was not interested.
Husband spent the rest of the day Sunday, hugging me, touching me, holding me, complaining at me that I don't want him around and so on and so forth. I have PMS!! Just leave me alone for a few days already!
Sunday night Husband never left my side and continued to ask me if I was ready for bed. Just after 10:00pm we went to bed and husband was literally attacking me. Hands up my shirt, hands down the back of my pants.... I kept removing his hands but he kept on trying.
I reminded him again that I was not interested. I have PMS and he needs to leave me alone for a few days. And this is where the whine set in.
Husband "It's been 3 days!"
Husband "I need to stop liking you so much."
Husband "Will you ever want to be with me again?"
Husband "Maybe if I stop liking you I won't want you anymore. Then you would be happy."
Husband "I'm tired of all this rejection."
Me "Seriously?! I have PMS. It will be a few more days. Stop acting like a baby."
Husband "Its always my fault. Stop talking to me and go to sleep."
Silence for several minutes.
Husband "You never want me. You always reject me. I'm tired of it. Why don't you go sleep in another room?"
Me "Okay, I will" Got up and picked up pillow.
Husband "Why don't we make this permanent?"
I went downstairs to sleep on the couch.
Husband is starting to get on my nerves. I'm doing my best to keep myself in check, as I get so tired of us arguing about things. But last night he was doing his best to push me over the top with all of the insecure, selfish whining. Really, it's a total turn off to me. I thought I was marrying a man. If one of us is going to act all emotional its supposed to be me right?!
At this point I feel a little used. If I don't have sex when Husband wants it then he wants a divorce? Really? What kind of statement is that? I realize he is being a total whiney baby and I know he doesn't mean what he said. It was all emotional non-sense. However, what kind of man says something so selfish? It's been 3 days!!! That is not an eternity.
When he comes home from work today, I will be required to act like nothing happened and give him smiles and hugs. I seriously resent that I have to do these things. But it beats the alternative of verbal bashings for the remainder of the evening about how terrible I am to him and about all of this rejection he is getting, that I don't love him and don't want him around.
Rejection has become a 4 letter word to me. Get over it Husband! Stop the whining and find something else to do to pass the time for a few days. All the whine is making me drunk enough to puke.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Soccer Games - Oh the joy
I love to attend the events, activities, ceremonies, concerts and games for each of the kids. I'm for sure one of the kids biggest fans and I am the annoying mom who proudly and loudly cheers for her child. Well, maybe not at the concerts, since you aren't supposed to scream names.
Soccer Boy and Trouble play on the same soccer team for this winter season. Normally only Soccer Boy plays, since The Witch has excuse after excuse for why she misses sign up deadlines for Trouble. And I know you are thinking that Husband or I could sign him up, but I don't see us paying for these kind of things along with child support. Plus The Witch makes more money than we do, so Trouble needs to take her up on these things if he wants to play that badly. Anyway, back to the point. Soccer games are one of those events where I have both The Witch and X in the same place at the same time. I readily encourage all of us to attend these events for the kids, but Husband and I have double the discomfort, which isn't something I really thought about when I encouraged Trouble to be on our team.
X and I get along okay in the sense that we never talk to one another and when we do it is straight to the point and 99.9% of the time via email. Like "Did so and so leave this or that at your house?" or "Can we trade this weekend for that weekend?" X hasn't gotten married since we divorced, so at this point I don't have another stepmom to deal with, but I expect that someday that could change. However X would have to get a job before I would imagine him dating anyone. And if I had any current issue with X it would be that over two years of unemployment, no child support or medical insurance for the kids is getting really old. Last time I checked we are both responsible for the kids. But again, that isn't what this post is about.
The Witch and I do not get along even though we never talk to one another. It's strange how lack of communication can speak just as loud or even louder than actual communication. I've tried a few times to talk to her and she ends up throwing a fit and yelling at Husband because she "isn't obligated to talk to" me. Well, no, she isn't but I typically know what's going on around here so trying to go through Husband all the time gets super frustrating. I'm not big on using a middleman. But it is what it is. And again, that isn't what this post is about.
Soccer games have become one of those places where I am concerned about what I look like, where I am sitting, what I say, what I do and so on. It's strange to feel so self conscience in a place where all I want to do is let the kids know that I am there to support them.
Last night Husband missed half the game so I sat uncomfortably all by myself with The Witch on the next set of bleachers and X on the one just over from that. I'm glad that there are four sets of bleachers at this place, or it could be even worse. I was very glad when Husband showed up. Prior to his arrival I felt as obvious as if I were standing out on the field naked. It seems like his shield makes all the difference.
Thankfully there were no issues at this game. The Witch quietly took Trouble home, with no word to me from either of them. Yes, not even from Trouble. You will learn why if you keep reading my blog. Husband did talk to Trouble briefly. However, if Husband didn't approach Trouble, Trouble would leave without a word to Husband. I'd like to say it's simply the drama of teenagers but sadly, we have some serious issues here.
X and his sister stayed and talked to Soccer Boy for a while after the game was over and I patiently waited nearby. I am glad that Soccer Boy is polite to X and wants to go over plays, goals and mishaps of the games with X. But Soccer Boy doesn't spend very much time with X anymore at X's house. He's busy for one, but Soccer Boy sees X for the lazy person that he is and is irritated with it. I'm perfectly okay with Soccer Boy being home. He's a good kid most of the time, and I enjoy having him around. But I do worry about Soccer Boy not having a relationship with X. It's something I am concerned about and I try to encourage Soccer Boy to talk to X as often as he can.
And in case you were wondering, we lost the game. It was our first loss of the season. Total bummer. However, Soccer Boy assisted Trouble with our only goal of the game. I came home with a sore throat from all the cheering.
Soccer Boy and Trouble play on the same soccer team for this winter season. Normally only Soccer Boy plays, since The Witch has excuse after excuse for why she misses sign up deadlines for Trouble. And I know you are thinking that Husband or I could sign him up, but I don't see us paying for these kind of things along with child support. Plus The Witch makes more money than we do, so Trouble needs to take her up on these things if he wants to play that badly. Anyway, back to the point. Soccer games are one of those events where I have both The Witch and X in the same place at the same time. I readily encourage all of us to attend these events for the kids, but Husband and I have double the discomfort, which isn't something I really thought about when I encouraged Trouble to be on our team.
X and I get along okay in the sense that we never talk to one another and when we do it is straight to the point and 99.9% of the time via email. Like "Did so and so leave this or that at your house?" or "Can we trade this weekend for that weekend?" X hasn't gotten married since we divorced, so at this point I don't have another stepmom to deal with, but I expect that someday that could change. However X would have to get a job before I would imagine him dating anyone. And if I had any current issue with X it would be that over two years of unemployment, no child support or medical insurance for the kids is getting really old. Last time I checked we are both responsible for the kids. But again, that isn't what this post is about.
The Witch and I do not get along even though we never talk to one another. It's strange how lack of communication can speak just as loud or even louder than actual communication. I've tried a few times to talk to her and she ends up throwing a fit and yelling at Husband because she "isn't obligated to talk to" me. Well, no, she isn't but I typically know what's going on around here so trying to go through Husband all the time gets super frustrating. I'm not big on using a middleman. But it is what it is. And again, that isn't what this post is about.
Soccer games have become one of those places where I am concerned about what I look like, where I am sitting, what I say, what I do and so on. It's strange to feel so self conscience in a place where all I want to do is let the kids know that I am there to support them.
Last night Husband missed half the game so I sat uncomfortably all by myself with The Witch on the next set of bleachers and X on the one just over from that. I'm glad that there are four sets of bleachers at this place, or it could be even worse. I was very glad when Husband showed up. Prior to his arrival I felt as obvious as if I were standing out on the field naked. It seems like his shield makes all the difference.
Thankfully there were no issues at this game. The Witch quietly took Trouble home, with no word to me from either of them. Yes, not even from Trouble. You will learn why if you keep reading my blog. Husband did talk to Trouble briefly. However, if Husband didn't approach Trouble, Trouble would leave without a word to Husband. I'd like to say it's simply the drama of teenagers but sadly, we have some serious issues here.
X and his sister stayed and talked to Soccer Boy for a while after the game was over and I patiently waited nearby. I am glad that Soccer Boy is polite to X and wants to go over plays, goals and mishaps of the games with X. But Soccer Boy doesn't spend very much time with X anymore at X's house. He's busy for one, but Soccer Boy sees X for the lazy person that he is and is irritated with it. I'm perfectly okay with Soccer Boy being home. He's a good kid most of the time, and I enjoy having him around. But I do worry about Soccer Boy not having a relationship with X. It's something I am concerned about and I try to encourage Soccer Boy to talk to X as often as he can.
And in case you were wondering, we lost the game. It was our first loss of the season. Total bummer. However, Soccer Boy assisted Trouble with our only goal of the game. I came home with a sore throat from all the cheering.
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