Last night Soccer Boy and Trouble had a soccer game. It's typical for The Witch to bring Trouble, and occassionally she will bring her other son, the one she has with her current husband. However, last night is one for the records.
I haven't seen her husband in real life. EVER. In over five years. That's right. Not ever. In fact when she was pregnant with that other son,I used to tease Husband that she must have had sex with a ghost because her husband doesn't exist.
But last night The Witch brought the entire family to watch the game, including the mysterious husband of hers. Of course none of them spoke to us or acknowledged our presence, but I did see the guy in the flesh finally.
I really wondered if the man ever did anything with his family at all. I guess every 5 years or so he makes an appearance.
On another note...
Husband asked "Perfect" over the weekend, to come to the game. He told her that the games are a lot of fun and she should come to see the boys play. So "Perfect" came to the game, but even she ignored her dad completely.
After the game was over, Husband tried to talk to Trouble, tell him good game and all of that, but Trouble couldn't walk fast enough away from his dad. Neither of Husband's kids said a word to him, or even looked at him. Isn't that sad? I don't get it.
The X's sister came to the game, which is typical, and Baby Boy left us to go sit with her. Had he not gone on his own, I would have said "Your aunt is here. Go say hi." After the game Soccer Boy spent 10 minutes talking to his aunt as well. I even talked to her for a minute.
I don't get my Husband's situation but I sure feel bad for him.
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Yours is the more mature way to handle the situation. Your husbands ex-wife is too immature and scared of who she is as a person to be comfortable with her kids loving anyone else - even their dad.
ReplyDeleteI've seen this more times than I can believe where people are so possessive of a child's love to allow them to be loved by anyone else
It's self preservation...(at least for us) my stepdaughters do it too, they can't be seen by their mother making nice with me... they catch hell for it later... so they pretend we're not there... So we don't usually make a big deal about it... we wait until we see them next & are sure to let them know what how it was good to see them, even if they didn't get a chance to talk to us... I hope eventually they'll "get over" it...
ReplyDeleteI agree with Carol. They probably feel disloyal to their mom if they pay any attention to you and dad. Public events have proven to be this way for us too. Try not to let it get to you. It doesn't mean they don't love Dad.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this is any consolation, but my stepdaughter has always been fearful to talk with my husband and I when her mother is around. I have no idea what that woman says to my stepdaughter, or if she gives looks, but it has always been that way. My husband and I do not want the drama, so would always wink at her and smile at her a lot. It is really tough being the outsiders and I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this.
ReplyDeleteI'm about to meet my partner's ex for the first time, and am wondering if, after this meeting, I'll find myself in situations with her, my Lovely Man and the kids, maybe, like you, at sporting events.
ReplyDeleteI'm betting that the kids will ignore me in that scenario. Even the little guy, who really likes me.
Does your husband feel he knows why this is happening?
Man stepped, thats hard! I mean yeah the way you and your ex does it is best. Its easier on the kids when everyone is civil. Growing up I stood up for my father because my step dad was horrid, and I mean HONESTLY horrid, abusive and all. Looking back my dad's team was the bad team too but as a kid you don't see whats really happening. Hopefully the kids grow out of the whole mommy phase.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are very mature and I know this has to be hard on you all. I agree with what the others have said about why the kids may be avoid saying anything to you all. :-(
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