So my last post was sent in haste. Well, I didn't know that at the time.
The counselor sent a last chance email to everyone. He stated that he felt the only way to proceed with helping the situation was for the adults to come together. And The Witch responded that she would come and bring her husband with her. She also said that she wanted Husband to bring that note Trouble wrote. -- oh please, like it matters what demands the child has. Like it's mandatory that we buy him expensive dinners out on the town. Anyway...
I'm very happy she is actually going to come and meet with us. I'm terrified that she is going to rip into me and even more scared of my reaction to that.
Now I need suggestions I think you guys can help me with. What do I do when The Witch starts acting like a witch and I get angry feelings? How do you all deal with that in a way that is constructive? Specifically when dealing face to face with your husband's ex? I'm ready to tune her out, smile and say nothing, bite my lip, twist up a paper in my hand... whatever it takes to get through it and let the counselor work things out. What do you suggest? I'm all ears.
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I just look at the ex like she's lost it and keep my mouth shut when I've had to be around her and she acts like an idiot. The counselor will direct things, anyway if he's a good one he will. He will probably only allow appropriate behavior, so if she tries to rip you to shreds in front of him, I think he'll make her behave. I almost hope she acts up at least some, so he can see her true colors. My ex always behaved in front of the counselor until later in the process and I was so happy when she saw his true colors! As far as venting out my anger - I blog like a maniac. Sending good vibes your way - good luck!
ReplyDeleteRespond to everything she directs at you with, "Really? Hmmm. That's interesting."
ReplyDeleteWill. Make. Her. NUTS. Nuts to the point that she'll take the rope and hang herself verbally.
Just do whatever you have to in order to keep your cool. She WANTS you to lose it!!! The ex in our situation just wants SOMEONE to fight with....nothing makes her happier than a reaction. So we never give her one and she can't stand it!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't engage her. If she starts yelling, don't yell back, speak calmly. Even if you have to count to "3" in your head before you respond. Also if she cuts you off, says things like "I let you say what you had to say, now it is my turn, please do not interupt me." Which is something the counselor should be doing anyway.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I just hold my hubby's hand and ignore her... we choose not to engage her at all.. then she looks like a fool & only gets madder...
ReplyDeleteI hope it all went well! I know EXACTLY what you are going through and it is HARD, but not impossible.
ReplyDeleteAll will live
And Trouble will grow up and realise that his father always was there!
Trust me
Do not respond to her. Just ignore her, think happy thoughts in your head. It just makes her look crazy. Then come home and blog about it or vent to a friend or something. Reacting in front of counselor isn't going to do any good, and reacting to her is only going to egg her on more.
ReplyDelete